Blogs

  I promise to disappear—not just from your world for a while, but completely, forever from the one we shared. It hurts to know my presence has no value. I'm walking away in a direction that feels utterly without purpose, but surely I won't remain this aimless and motionless without you. And if, someday, you search for me in the places where we laughed, cried, dreamed, and fell apart—you won’t find a trace of me.  Don’t take it as revenge. It’s not. It’s simply my quiet acceptance of the betrayal I was ignoring—and a step towards the peace I never thought to seek while drowning in chaos. All my love for you is still there, but I am no longer there for you.  ~A

  The more I try to engage myself with other things, your absence rings at the doorbell. But truthfully, I only ever wait for you to knock. It is madness to wait for you, even as my sanity reminds me you may never come. Dear, I miss you... I cling to our memories while wearing a life jacket—tattered and stitched with longing. I convince myself I won’t sink. It’s strange, isn’t it? To find yourself in the middle of the sea, unable to swim, with only the horizon stretching endlessly. No rescue. No sign of hope. Only waiting. But I’m not afraid of drowning. What truly terrifies me is that the icebergs of our memories might melt. Then life would become lifeless. There would be no corpse of memory to sit beside—just water: colourless, odourless, tasteless. How ugly the sea becomes when all your life you admired its beauty from the shore. The same waves no longer feel like water. They taste like poison—not one that kills, but one that lets you know what it means to be dead. ~A