"Dear, Goodbye!"

 

I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.

~Irrfan

I was so unlucky for love that it never gave me a chance to say goodbye to you. I often kneel before destiny—If it was written that I would be deprived of love, didn’t I deserve the chance to say goodbye? You used to say you were worthy of every happiness in the world. Yet, I could not even receive the happiness of a proper goodbye. Everyone wants to capture the end when people begin to blur—you, me, and every story. You could have stood against destiny. Even though I did not deserve an expected ending, at least I deserved a goodbye. 

My dear, you might think that out of love, I would have died without you, but let me tell you, my love, no one dies because of the departure of loved ones. It is love that keeps them alive. See, I am sadly living and happily dying. What else can I say? There is nothing a person can say when they are in deprivation. 

I still imagine the moment—the descending sound of footsteps, the rising lub-dub of a heartbeat, tears surfing in the eyes and the body slowly slipping into reality.

A moment of goodbye never breaks me more than the decision itself. Since then, every moment has been filled with trepidation. I prepare myself for spontaneity. I no longer miss the chance to say goodbye to anyone. Witnessing goodbyes is a blessing. I now celebrate departures, as they give me a sense of fulfilment, knowing I became a part of the journey, even if just for a brief moment. For me, arrival is quite strange. Everyone feels like a stranger. We can only relate to the familiar parts of someone.

My dear, wherever you are and with whomever you're with, may love always be kind to you and bring you a well-celebrated moment of goodbye, unlike mine—might the love have been kind to me...

~A