"Dear... I Wish"

 

"You were destined for me. Perhaps as a punishment."

~Fyodor Dostoevsky 

Each day, I encounter a new way to remember you while searching for a means to forget you. Everything reminds me of you. How long will I hold onto your memory, my dear? My body and soul continue to bow to our memories. I wish to forget you, yet they refuse to support this endeavour of mine. I believed it would be easy to forget someone as time slips away— I misjudged the time. I wish I could forget you— perhaps you wish the same for me. 

I don’t know how much distance I must cover to truly escape you forever. You know, the idea of forgetting you causes me to suffer, yet I suffer even more while remembering you. Probably, there exists a middle ground yet to be discovered. All I seem to think about are extremes. When you were a stranger to me, everything felt strange, but when I became acquainted with you, I found everything familiar.

I hope to forget you in order to forgive myself. It will not be easy, but what else can I do? I once wished to be remembered, but now, I feel it has become exhausting. I wish we could stand apart again as complete strangers. 

~A